(Words by Van Halen)

Uh!
Hey!

I'm all feet up, watchin' TV
Someplace to feast my eyes, oh
Well, I've always tripped on commercials, yeah yeah
This one blew my mind, oh, uh, hey!

(Ooh) Tell me, who ya gonna call when you need that affection?
(Ooh) Ya got to have it quick (Got to have it quick)
(Ooh) Well just a-hang your love line in her direction. Whoa

All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh!
Yeah! All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh
Whoa! Oh!

Three dollars, first minute (gosh, man!) After that, cost ya four
And she be up for negotiations, mmm hmmm
If you call back for more, oh oh oh ah!

(Ooh) Now who ya gonna call when you need that special
(Special) Little somethin'? Mmm
(Ooh) You can say what you like. It's all confidential. Whoa!

All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Huh!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Whoa!

(Guitar Solo)

Hey!

All you bad, bad boys
Make a mind blow!
All you bad, bad boys
Dial 1-900-SPANKED!

All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh! Hey!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh!
All you bad, bad boys. Yeah, it's a spank line
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
All you bad (woo!) bad boys. Just, call her up. Ha! Call her up
1-900-SPANKED! (All you bad, bad boys)
1-900-SPANKED! You bad bad bad boys. Just call her up
(All you bad, bad boys)
It's a spank line. Yeah! oh! Ow
1-900-SPANKED
All you bad bad bad...